


Fear

by saintvic



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-19
Updated: 2010-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintvic/pseuds/saintvic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A character study: if you asked the people who knew him what Chris Skelton was afraid of you'd get a lot of different answers.............</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

If you asked the people who knew him what Chris Skelton was afraid of you'd get a lot of different answers. His family, his friends, the people he worked with, all of them would tell you what they thought scared him.

His mum would tell you he was afraid of the dark when he was little. She would follow this with stories of a skinny boy unable to sleep in the pitch black and who'd crawl into his parents' bed. But, Chris always thought to himself, all children are afraid of the dark and the things creeping out of it. He'd grown out of this fear and hardly ever slept with the hall light on anymore.

His best friend at school, Johnny Maguire, would have said dogs. They'd both been chased by a huge black beast when they'd been skiving off down by the canal one day. They'd only got away because they'd been able to sneak through a gap in a fence. And even now, Chris thought, anyone would have been scared by this dog: barking and bearing down on them like a hound from hell. Some things it was alright to be frightened of.

"A real woman" would be the raucous cry from Ray. Who'd follow that bellow with: "He's only had Rosie Palm and her five sisters tickling his fancy so far!". And the whooping laughter would ripple round the office. Of course this was not bloody true……..except in a way it was. He'd only had a few proper girlfriends, okay two, and he never knew if they were listening to him or laughing at him. He couldn't understand them and that worried him.

The Boss would get that slightly strained expression on his face and then he'd say that Chris was afraid of not fitting in. This statement would be followed by a lecture on how he needed to stand up for himself and not just stumble along blindly with the rest of CID. Except for following his example, obviously. This was true. Chris was afraid of not fitting him. He wanted them to like him. It was like playing football in school, he wanted to be picked for the team, he didn't want to be the last one standing there.

The Guv would throw out something like "being a div for the rest of his ruddy life, and my boot up his arse if he doesn't get me a pint pronto". And this Chris feared more than anything else. Cause he wanted to be good detective, he wanted to know more, he didn't want to be looked at as the "div" forever. He was afraid because he couldn't seem to help it, couldn't do any better, couldn't stop being a div. No matter what he did he'd never be as good as the Guv, DI Tyler, or Ray. He was just the bloke tagging along.

But sometimes, despite all this, things did seem to get better in the little moments. Praise from the Guv, going on a date with a nice girl and her wanting to see him again, finding a clue that made the Boss grin, and more. Small changes but ones that made him feel less afraid.


End file.
